Free Will is just an Illusion

Since i found out how to post flash games on the blog..

2011-04-21T01:59:00.001+08:00

This is called arcade_driving.swf. I somehow fucked up the code and the car is on permanent drift mode. I stopped working on it ever since.

Abstract Flash Movie

2011-04-21T00:13:00.019+08:00

You will never ever get the point.

2011-04-20T09:22:00.000+08:00

自己刺自己还要别人同情。问题分。

2011-03-16T11:13:00.000+08:00

class Car{
/tabasdasd

2011-03-07T14:02:00.001+08:00

2011-02-26T12:28:00.000+08:00

drop table performance;
drop table attend;
drop table assign;
drop table classes;
drop table subjects;
drop table guardians;
drop table students;
drop table employees;
drop table people;
drop table residence;

create table residence(
RID int(8) NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,
RC varchar(15),
AD varchar(100),
PRIMARY KEY (RID)
);

create table people(
PID int(8) NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,
RID int(8),
FN varchar(20) NOT NULL,
GN varchar(20) NOT NULL,
PC varchar(15),
PC2 varchar(15),
PRIMARY KEY(PID),
CONSTRAINT pk_RID_people FOREIGN KEY (RID) REFERENCES residence(RID)
ON DELETE SET NULL ON UPDATE CASCADE
);

create table students(
PID int(8) NOT NULL,
YR date,
Active varchar(1) NOT NULL,
CM varchar(50),
PRIMARY KEY (PID),
Constraint pk_PID_student FOREIGN KEY (PID) REFERENCES people(PID)
ON DELETE CASCADE ON UPDATE CASCADE
);
create table guardians(
PID int(8) NOT NULL,
CM varchar(50),
PRIMARY KEY(PID),
Constraint pk_PID_guardians FOREIGN KEY (PID) REFERENCES people(PID)
ON DELETE CASCADE ON UPDATE CASCADE

);
create table employees(
PID int(8) NOT NULL,
JOB varchar(10) NOT NULL,
SR decimal(6,2),
SM decimal(7,2),
Active varchar(1) NOT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY (PID),
Constraint pk_PID_emp FOREIGN KEY (PID) REFERENCES people(PID)
ON DELETE CASCADE ON UPDATE CASCADE
);
create table subjects(
SID VARCHAR(6) NOT NULL,
SUB VARCHAR(30) NOT NULL,
PRIMARY KEY(SID)
);
create table classes(
CID int(8) NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,
SID VARCHAR(6) NOT NULL,
PID int(8),
TIME time,
HR decimal(3,1),
CL varchar(2),
DAY varchar(3),
Active varchar(1),
PRIMARY KEY (CID),
Constraint pk_PID_class FOREIGN KEY (PID) REFERENCES people(PID)
ON DELETE SET NULL ON UPDATE CASCADE,
Constraint pk_SID_class FOREIGN KEY (SID) REFERENCES subjects(SID)
ON DELETE CASCADE ON UPDATE CASCADE
);
create table assign(
PID int(8) NOT NULL,
CID int(9) NOT NULL,
Trans varchar(1),
PRIMARY KEY (PID),
Constraint pk_PID_assign FOREIGN KEY (PID) REFERENCES people(PID)
ON DELETE CASCADE ON UPDATE CASCADE,
Constraint pk_CID_assign FOREIGN KEY (CID) REFERENCES classes(CID)
ON DELETE CASCADE ON UPDATE CASCADE
);
create table attend(
PID int(8) NOT NULL,
CID int(9) NOT NULL,
YR date,
ATT varchar(1),
RS varchar(50),
Constraint pk_PID_attend FOREIGN KEY (PID) REFERENCES people(PID)
ON DELETE CASCADE ON UPDATE CASCADE,
Constraint pk_CID_attend FOREIGN KEY (CID) REFERENCES assign(CID)
ON DELETE CASCADE ON UPDATE CASCADE
);
create table performance(
PID int(8) NOT NULL,
DT date,
SID VARCHAR(6),
SCH char(20),
MARK decimal(4,1),
CM char(50),
PRIMARY KEY(PID),
Constraint pk_PID_perf FOREIGN KEY (PID) REFERENCES people(PID)
ON DELETE CASCADE ON UPDATE CASCADE,
Constraint pk_CID_perf FOREIGN KEY (SID) REFERENCES subjects(SID)
ON DELETE CASCADE ON UPDATE CASCADE
);
###########################################
################TEST VALUES################
###########################################

INSERT INTO residence (AD) VALUE ('129, Jalan Kinrara, Taman Kinrara, Jalan Puchong, 58200 KL');
INSERT INTO residence (AD) VALUE ('99, 2/6 Jalan Tan Yew Lai, Taman OUG');
INSERT INTO residence (AD) VALUE ('78, 10 Jalan Abu Bakar, Taman Desa');
INSERT INTO residence (AD) VALUE ('16, varcharlie Avenue, Rosevalley Hills');
INSERT INTO residence (AD) VALUE ('Kong Chun Wai\'s House');
INSERT INTO residence (AD) VALUE ('Palm Terrace');

INSERT INTO people (FN,GN,PC,PC2,RID) VALUE ('Chang','Alan, Jing Jie','014-6289313','012-3415232',1);
INSERT INTO people (FN,GN,RID)VALUE ('Chang','Alvin, Wen Jun',1);
INSERT INTO people (FN,GN,RID)VALUE ('Mohmand','Abdul Ali bin',3);
INSERT INTO people (FN,GN,RID)VALUE ('Sasilan','Sathaesan A/L',3);
INSERT INTO people (FN,GN,RID)VALUE ('Cena','John',4);
INSERT INTO people (FN,GN,RID)VALUE ('Go','Joachim, Yap Chim',2);
INSERT INTO people (FN,GN,RID)VALUE ('Kong','Chun Wai',5);
INSERT INTO people (FN,GN,RID)VALUE ('Murakami','Suzuki',4);
INSERT INTO people (FN,GN,RID)VALUE ('Rossi','Valentino',4);
INSERT INTO people (FN,GN,RID)VALUE ('Chan','Yuin Ching',6);
INSERT INTO people (FN,GN,RID)VALUE ('Chan','Shao Hong',6);
INSERT INTO people (FN,GN)VALUE ('Teoh','Poh Lin');
INSERT INTO people (FN,GN)VALUE ('Ng','Poh Kin');

INSERT INTO students(PID,YR,active)VALUE(2,'2002-10-28','N');
INSERT INTO students(PID,YR,active)VALUE(3,'2002-10-31','Y');
INSERT INTO students(PID,YR,active)VALUE(4,'2002-11-03','Y');
INSERT INTO students(PID,YR,active)VALUE(5,'2002-11-03','Y');
INSERT INTO students(PID,YR,active)VALUE(6,'2002-11-06','N');
INSERT INTO students(PID,YR,active)VALUE(7,'2002-11-15','N');
INSERT INTO students(PID,YR,active)VALUE(8,'2002-11-25','Y');
INSERT INTO students(PID,YR,active)VALUE(11,'2002-11-30','Y');

INSERT INTO employees(PID,Job,active)VALUE(10,'TUITOR','Y');
INSERT INTO employees(PID,Job,active)VALUE(12,'TUITOR','Y');
INSERT INTO employees(PID,Job,active)VALUE(13,'CLERK','Y');

INSERT INTO guardians(PID)VALUE(1);
INSERT INTO guardians(PID)VALUE(9);
INSERT INTO guardians(PID)VALUE(10);

INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ENGS01','ENGLISH STANDARD 1');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ENGS02','ENGLISH STANDARD 2');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ENGS03','ENGLISH STANDARD 3');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ENGS04','ENGLISH STANDARD 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ENGS05','ENGLISH STANDARD 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ENGS06','ENGLISH STANDARD 6');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ENGF01','ENGLISH FORM 1');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ENGF02','ENGLISH FORM 2');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ENGF03','ENGLISH FORM 3');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ENGF04','ENGLISH FORM 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ENGF05','ENGLISH FORM 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ENGF06','ENGLISH FORM 6');

INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MALS01','BAHASA MALAYSIA STANDARD 1');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MALS02','BAHASA MALAYSIA STANDARD 2');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MALS03','BAHASA MALAYSIA STANDARD 3');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MALS04','BAHASA MALAYSIA STANDARD 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MALS05','BAHASA MALAYSIA STANDARD 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MALS06','BAHASA MALAYSIA STANDARD 6');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MALF01','BAHASA MALAYSIA FORM 1');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MALF02','BAHASA MALAYSIA FORM 2');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MALF03','BAHASA MALAYSIA FORM 3');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MALF04','BAHASA MALAYSIA FORM 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MALF05','BAHASA MALAYSIA FORM 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MALF06','BAHASA MALAYSIA FORM 6');

INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MATS01','MATHEMATICS STANDARD 1');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MATS02','MATHEMATICS STANDARD 2');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MATS03','MATHEMATICS STANDARD 3');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MATS04','MATHEMATICS STANDARD 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MATS05','MATHEMATICS STANDARD 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MATS06','MATHEMATICS STANDARD 6');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MATF01','MATHEMATICS FORM 1');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MATF02','MATHEMATICS FORM 2');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MATF03','MATHEMATICS FORM 3');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MATF04','MATHEMATICS FORM 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MATF05','MATHEMATICS FORM 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('MATF06','MATHEMATICS FORM 6');

INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SCIS01','SCIENCE STANDARD 1');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SCIS02','SCIENCE STANDARD 2');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SCIS03','SCIENCE STANDARD 3');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SCIS04','SCIENCE STANDARD 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SCIS05','SCIENCE STANDARD 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SCIS06','SCIENCE STANDARD 6');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SCIF01','SCIENCE FORM 1');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SCIF02','SCIENCE FORM 2');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SCIF03','SCIENCE FORM 3');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SCIF04','SCIENCE FORM 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SCIF05','SCIENCE FORM 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SCIF06','SCIENCE FORM 6');

INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SEJS01','SEJARAH STANDARD 1');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SEJS02','SEJARAH STANDARD 2');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SEJS03','SEJARAH STANDARD 3');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SEJS04','SEJARAH STANDARD 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SEJS05','SEJARAH STANDARD 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SEJS06','SEJARAH STANDARD 6');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SEJF01','SEJARAH FORM 1');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SEJF02','SEJARAH FORM 2');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SEJF03','SEJARAH FORM 3');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SEJF04','SEJARAH FORM 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SEJF05','SEJARAH FORM 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('SEJF06','SEJARAH FORM 6');

INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('GEOS01','GEOGRAPHY STANDARD 1');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('GEOS02','GEOGRAPHY STANDARD 2');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('GEOS03','GEOGRAPHY STANDARD 3');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('GEOS04','GEOGRAPHY STANDARD 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('GEOS05','GEOGRAPHY STANDARD 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('GEOS06','GEOGRAPHY STANDARD 6');

INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ADDF04','ADDITIONAL MATHS FORM 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ADDF05','ADDITIONAL MATHS FORM 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ADDF06','ADDITIONAL MATHS FORM 6');

INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('PHYF04','PHYSICS FORM 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('PHYF05','PHYSICS FORM 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('PHYF06','PHYSICS FORM 6');

INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('CHEF04','CHEMICAL FORM 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('CHEF05','CHEMICAL FORM 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('CHEF06','CHEMICAL FORM 6');

INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('BIOF04','BIOLOGY FORM 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('BIOF05','BIOLOGY FORM 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('BIOF06','BIOLOGY FORM 6');

INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ACCF04','ACCOUNTING FORM 4');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ACCF05','ACCOUNTING FORM 5');
INSERT INTO subjects VALUE ('ACCF06','ACCOUNTING FORM 6');

CREATE FUNCTION test()
  RETURNS INT
   DETERMINISTIC
   BEGIN;
   SET avg = SELECT FN,LN FROM STUDENTS;
   RETURN avg;
END

Honey, I love you.

2011-02-24T02:00:00.002+08:00

Honey, I love you. I hope you know. I hope you do know. I am sorry. I have weird thoughts. I thought about existence. I thought about time. I thought about space. I thought about causality. I question everything. Every single stupid questions, asking for every detail, that an average Joe will never thought about, will never be able to see, will never be able to understand. Honey, I understand how it feels. I don't seemed to care about my word-ly life; the "real" life as defined by our own species.

But honey, no. I care. I do care. You're the reason why I still want to live in the "real" life. It's all because of you. I am sorry I disregard the existence of "soul', or technically, "consciousness". I truly believed we were controlled by the forces of nature; and that free will is just an illusion. It seemed like I do not believe the existence of love, but honey, no. I naturally wants see you. I naturally thinks about you. I naturally wants to be with you. All these were not my free will, nor I am forced to. It's just naturally, that I love you.

2011-02-24T01:35:00.003+08:00

I have thoughts. Lots of thoughts, and it changes easily. I want to adapt. I do not want to lock myself in a small box and draw pictures on the walls, trying to illustrate the imaginary outside world.

I want to know. I have to know - The Truth.

I need to know what's outside. I want to see. I want to understand. I do not want to make up a world based off my own imagination that do not truly exist.

But how can an entity bounded by space and time, looks beyond?

2010-12-23T01:46:00.000+08:00

I am sick like fuck, but I couldn't fall asleep.

I had a weird dream yesterday night. I dreamed about some weird cult. I couldn't remember anything other that few vague detail:- wait I can't remember anything now.

I talked about how Santa Claus is the creation of Satan for a Christian who actually knows his/her religion. It stole away the actual meaning of Christmas. Christmas is supposed to be a memorial for the birth of Jesus Christ. Satan wanted people to forget about the actual meaning of Christmas, and therefore, Santa Claus was created.

I despite Christianity, though.

Christmas is coming.

2010-11-25T18:52:00.002+08:00

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH :D

2010-10-13T04:51:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile. I have been having a writer block since forever. To be honest, I think my creativity is starting to fade away. I don't know what to write anymore.

A few days ago I booted up my RMVX. I stared at the tile pallets for 15 minutes. I realized I don't know what to do. I can't come out with new things. I can't come out with anything. Not even a story. Not even, "Hi, my name is Yee Chee. I am on a quest to save my beloved Tay Li Xin from my evil twin, Yee Rick. Here's a picture of her.. *Elmo pops up* isn't she lovely?..."

And I just tried this:
http://www.transparent.com/learn-english/proficiency-test.html

English Proficiency Test

You are at the Intermediate level.
You scored 141 points out of 150.

Practice Makes Perfect

Your score = 94%

(IMO if you can't score full marks without using a dictionary/browsing the web, you're pretty bad)

I was writing about the original intention of starting this blog; to improve my English Proficiency, and couldn't figure out how to put it in words.

Anyway

I feel so proud of you, honey... I am sorry. I truly felt ashamed. You changed so much for me. You certainly deserves more... I am sorry, honey. Although I do not like to post things about us here, as I've already mention why all the time; I hope you know, how important you are to me.

I love you :)

Random Midnight Sketches

2010-08-10T03:14:00.003+08:00

I was supposed to work on my prac. I have quite a bad day this afternoon. I don't really like what my tutor said to me. I felt like I was being mistaken. I felt like I deserved more credit than just "I know you don't really like IT why don't you consider changing course?"

Just because I fucked up a originally perfectly working code, that I worked out without copy-pasting anything from anyone else (except for asking help from my friend for a general idea how to do the code), I deserved that? What the fuck. I do admit I deserved what I got; those marks that was given to me is justified. I was being careless and very unlucky that I could not reconstruct my codes to make it work, but the review about what you think I am? No. That's totally way off.

I rode home furiously. I got the balls to slide in between cars, and lean like a pro. No not really, but then I went home with a very very bad mood. I have temper issues. Later that day, I met up with her :D

I feel so so much better when I see her.. It feels so good to have someone there for you always (as long as she's not angry herself :P) We had dinner together later that day.

Wait, I am supposed to talk about random midnight sketches.

As I said earlier, I should be working on my failed prac. I don't care about the marks. I care about what I think I am worthy of. I care about what I think I can do. But then, after a few seconds writing some java codes, I booted up SAI and started sketching. I made a promise to myself that I will finish the prac by tomorrow. After a few minutes sketching with my retarded mouse, this is what I got.

KaleSketch.png

I am quite proud of myself. I can never play a competitive Starcraft 2 match with my mouse, but at least I can draw with it. What? Couldn't tell what it is? I will tell you what it is. It is a guy posing holding a gun and a sword behind his back. I worked on the sketch later on and got this next.

KaleOutline.png

I actually attached a doll on the edge of the sword if you notice, and gave the sword a sunflower deco. I also got him (Kale) wearing some weird jacket as well as giving him a.. erm.. belly-belt. I wasn't sure what the thing on his chest is, but I originally gave him a giant cross attached at his torso.

Later on I tried coloring. Man I suck at coloring. It took me awhile, but in the end, I got this as my final product.

Kale.png

I actually rushed towards the end so I left out a bit of a detail. Many of the lines are somewhat not neat. I removed the three weird thing on the neck of the jacket and made things shinny... OH for my cat's sake I forgot to make the belt buckle shine!! What a shame.

The program actually expired, and it doesn't allow us to save anything once it is expired. Fortunately, the programmers and designers for SAI knows little about the print-screen button.

I thought KaleOutline.png was done more neatly, as I am better at sketching, and I know nothing about coloring. I like the eye from the uncolored one.

So this is my first ever anime character dude drawn on SAI. Kale was one of my main character in my self-drawn manga when I was a kid back in high school. He was based on one of my friend who actually draws manga himself too, and now a art student graduating soon. And yes, I do admire him, both his talent, and him being in a art school.

A_little_more_tidy_kale.png

2010-06-29T09:12:00.002+08:00

Honey, I am sorry to be so forgetful.. :(

2010-06-28T04:17:00.001+08:00

I just can't bear with that weird feeling lurking inside me telling me that you have already gone. I just simply did not know what else I can do.

Emo sial

To you

2010-06-28T03:34:00.002+08:00

Honey, I love you. I never express it on my blog, or publicly, Facebook. I thought, a relationship belongs to that two person who is involved in that relationship. I do not like to publicly share it, or think it is necessary to. I felt weird that our thoughts was needed to be channeled through a public network. I just thought, as long as you know how deeply I am in love with you, and that you are the same towards me, everything will be fine. It is true that I do not prefer to share our stories on a public channel, but I don't mind at all, if you wanted it. Sorry I was never sensitive to what you wanted. I am sorry I was such a laid back towards your requests. I am sorry I make last minute plans. I am sorry I am not a good boyfriend.

I wish to publicly declare that I will work on to improve, better, including an update on what we do on our blog.

I love you.

I miss your smiles :)

Well...

2010-06-28T01:56:00.006+08:00

It was 28 of June 2010. Yesterday was okay. The day before yesterday was wonderful.

I don't remember how it started. But I already had a plan; a plan that I never had the opportunity to carry out. The plan was to pretend I did nothing for her, and get a present for her, warped in a box of course, and a pretty birthday cake. Perhaps from Cake Sense, or maybe cheaper. I always wanted to get her something special.. maybe Buskin Robins. Not maybe. I always wanted to, but days before the big day I realized I have limited funds and could not get it. Maybe I can, but I won't have enough for the present and a nice little dinner on Lookout Point in KL, or in some other nice restaurant. That was my plan.

On Friday, I called Jien Shen and asked if I could stay at his place that day. I thought maybe I can get something nice for her the next morning in 1U, since there will have more choices, and Jien Shen has a better taste than I am... At least in woman's stuffs.(:P) Unfortunately JS was busy. I asked if I can go on Saturday night. I thought maybe she'll have to wait on Sunday morning since that's when I will get something for her. The cake, and a warped present. She says she'll hanging out with her form six friends on Sunday morning. I thought I had the perfect plan. I thought. I even exaggerate that I might be having too much fun there and not being able to come back early. She says disappointingly, "well okay.. have fun..", but that's part of the plan. I wanted to give her a surprise; a usual trick I do on her from time to time. I love building up the suspense and look at her happy smiling face when she realized it was me pulling another one of that trick. It was a huge huge mistake.

On Saturday afternoon, I took her back from Mr. Wong's. Later that day she came to my house and we go to the dinner with her Puchong friends in Kim Gary@Pyramid. She was in a good mood that day. Probably because there's a party for her later that day. Suddenly, a friend of her asked me if I got her cake. I expected someone else for that day, since it's a party for her friends. I shook my head. "Bear man" she called me. I got nervous. If there was a plan B, that is to abort plan A and do nothing. I always assume everything's going perfect. I love that "misses by inches" thingy. I have just enough money for what I planned. Unfortunately, as I realize there's no one who was willing to get the cake, I left the place and got her a chocolate cake. She looks extremely happy when I took the cake out from the counter. She's extraordinary gorgeous that day especially with that sweet little smile on her face, that kind of smile I thought I could deliver to her if I had my plans right. I overspent on the dinner, and the car needed refueling.

Sunday afternoon. She was already with her form six buddies watching a movie. I don't know what else that I could save. I thought of making a flash animation.. or just a card. I had it here, but this looks kinda pointless and stupid.

Just_forget_about_it.png

Just what the fuck was I thinking.

In the end, the suspension I purposely built up for her, ended without a climax. I did what I pretended to do, and did not do what I intended to.

I do not want to remember how it ended Sunday night.

2010-05-24T01:55:00.000+08:00

"Maybe you've heard the true story about a philosophy student who wrote a research paper arguing that there are no objective, universal moral principles. Judged by its research, scholarship, documentation and argumentation, it was easily an "A" paper. The professor, however, took one look at it, pulled out his red felt pen and wrote " ‘F’ - I do not like blue covers." When the student got his paper back he stormed into the professor's office, "This is not fair! This is not just! I shouldn't be graded on the colour of my cover, but on the content of my paper!" The professor asked if the student was referring to the paper which argued that there are no objective moral principles such as fairness and justice. The student replied, "Yes, yes, that's the one!" The professor responded, "Well... I do not like blue covers. The grade will remain an 'F."' Suddenly the student realized that he really did believe in objective moral principles like fairness and justice, and he was expecting them to be applied to his situation right then and there." (Norman Geisler, "The Collapse of Modem Atheism11 in Intellectuals Speak Out About God, edited by Roy Abraham Varghese, (Chicago: Regnery Gateway, 1984) p.147)

2010-05-07T02:17:00.001+08:00

lol :)

2010-04-30T02:40:00.002+08:00

Pathetically lonely I have become. Lol. I was lying on my bed thinking about my life.

My first memory.. Or the very first event(I assume, can never be sure of that) that I can remember after I was born was my arse getting smacked by my mom when I was climbing up a ladder in the playground.. thingy (the structure in the playground that is made out of slides, hanging things and ladders) I can still remember that ladder was yellow in color and is curved where the end of the ladder is flatten out.. Maybe I can describe better by drawing a picture... Pictures, annoying(while quite nostalgic) noises-children-made-while-playing-in-playground, and a sudden pain in my bottoms is the only thing that exist in that memory anyway. Not thoughts or words that describe.

Impressed? Nah, don't be jealous of my talent. I am a natural artist.

I don't remember when it was, but it was after I moved into this current house that I am living in right now (which I have been staying here for almost 20 years)

I don't know exactly when, but I started climbing on the cage.. thingy just outside the main door. I will upload a drawing later if you don't get the picture. I am always better at expressing things in pictures rather than words. I guess everyone is, since the brain is built to store what we can sense with our.. erm... senses, not words or chemical equations or Java syntaxes. I always look outside and wonder what's everything. My first memory of my aunt was her telling me what are those colorful things that kept zooming past outside the house.

"Car car," she says.

"Car.. car?" I followed.

"Very clever!"

I was flattered. I don't think I can fully understand what that means at the time, but I am pretty sure it means I am good or something. I always think I am good. My parents always tell me I am the best. They praise me for everything I do. I love it when they tell me how clever I was. I thought I must be a genius or something. Or at least, something special, as the only persons I ever knew was my parents, my grandma, my aunt, and other kids at the playground. Yes, I am special.

Here is a picture of my house and the cage thingy.

I decided not to color it in case any of you thinks I'm showing off my skills.

I added labels on the already perfect and realistic picture because I want to make it neater.. Sort of.

You make friends easily when you are a kid. We try to talk to each other by ended up mumbling to each other all the time. I remember that I always meet new people, and play with them, and say good bye. We always get so close with each other in that very short period of time, but we almost never meet each other again after that few hours we spent together. Now to think about it, I wonder why is there so many kids out there in that tiny playground. Perhaps I just forget who is who afterwards, and see each other again like we never met before.

TBC imma go sleep got class. Waste inspiration sial.

2010-04-30T01:44:00.003+08:00

Brought Dino out to Pyramid for a movie yesterday. She is usually busy on Wednesday nights but her class was cancelled that night and it is replaced in the next day.

We originally planned to eat at home but my mom didn't cook that night so we decided to get there earlier for food. I have been promising her chocolate éclair since a few days ago but didn't get the chance to buy her one and therefore we stopped by Starbucks for it. We were.. erm.. pleasantly(?) surprised by an offer. Apparently Starbucks is going to change their menu the next day and they offered us a buy one free one deal for the food(erm.. the.. solid food, not the coffees for obvious reasons)

I suggested we get a donut instead of another chocolate éclair so I don't have to dine in somewhere else (actually she already had her dinner) but she insisted to get a second chocolate éclair(and therefore we got another chocolate éclair) After realizing how excited she were, I asked if she wants to get the last two chocolate éclair that is left in the.. erm.. display thingy but she said it's okay.

Dino looks really happy. I am happy that she is happy. :D

She made me write up this post later that day.

Another Church Commercialized

2010-04-04T05:26:00.006+08:00

WARNING:18PA

I wrote this post up just to drop my bias view about how I think about certain things based on partial fact and partial self-made thoughts. It is purely to entertain me, so do not be offended or feel offended when you read this. It is nothing personal.

I don't call myself a Christian, I might as well as call myself an atheist.. well, maybe not an atheist, I just don't believe in a personal God(or the Christian God). Instead, I believe in a higher power that governs the forces of nature, Whom is not particularly interested any individual, or anything at all. But blah, if there is a Christian God, He wouldn't like what the church do.

Why is he trying to attract people with Earthly goods? I hate it when he tries to draw people to them with "testimonies" that Christianity helps them in becoming more "successful" in their life. He talks about how miserably poor those people now, who laughed at him when he first converted into a Christian. Do a Christian God really help us in getting rich? Or do He care that we are rich or not?

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.'" Matthew 19:23-24

Well, He do care about it, but in a negative way. People who cares about getting rich are the people who don't qualify to enter the kingdom of God. However, he is promoting that God actually helps us into getting rich, and that is disgustingly stupid. Well, you could as well as argue that he used the word "achieve YOUR dreams.. and shinning star.. thing.." instead of the word "rich", but wait, what did the Bible says about ambitions? The verse just came into my head.. what is it.. "If any of you wants to follow me, put aside all your selfish ambitions, shoulder your cross and follow me" Let me Google it up.

"If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your own pleasures and shoulder your cross, and follow me closely."Mark 8:34

"If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross daily, and follow me" Luke 9:23

And I found something else

Following Jesus is Painful.

Jesus promised us, “If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.” (Jn. 15:20) Jesus did not promise us a rosy life. He promised us suffering. This is why he calls his followers to first “take up their cross” and then to “follow” Him. In Matt. 16:24 “Jesus put the emphasis on self-denial and cross-bearing”.

http://www.fundamentallyreformed.com/2006/12/10/jesus-demands-take-up-your-cross-and-follow-me-8/

A drug dealer became a pastor. Wow, big deal. That must be some sort of miracle, or a pastors actually earn quite a fortune, and he wouldn't be breaking the law or be in risk of getting himself hanged. I mean, the pay is based on the number of members. You know the 10% "offering" off your pay... thingy very well, but what about the extra donations pastors get? And the more members he have, the richer he is, why wouldn't he wants to spread the gospel.. Especially in a disgustingly convenient way?

And he said something about people converting Christianity being the lasted trend. And I conveniently remembers a verse about trends.

"You can enter God's Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way." Matthew 7:13

And I believe that thinking that believing in the Christian God can lead us a comfty and better life, is just that highway people take. You don't get accepted into the heaven just because you are labelled "Christian" in the government's database.

The Christian God I recognized when I was a believer only wanted one thing. People to be saved into heaven. And He can not tolerate impurities into heaven, therefore He urges us to live the life the bible guided us to. He don't care about your PhD certificate, or your 30k/month pay-job, or your newly bought Lambo. He wanted the people who already knew Him spread the news so there many could follow and lead a pure life. And by conveniently telling them that God will help them in their Earthly achievements, I can never buy that. God don't care what you're worth of, a bright shinning star or an empty rock in space. He cares about you living a life Jesus Christ did; He sent him not only to die for our sins, but to show us what God is expecting us to live.

Churches that are extra-forgiving that tells you "as long as you believe you will always get to heaven. It's okay that you sinned, but make sure you pray and repent every time you do it" is to me, convenient to help to increase the number of members, and it is to me hypocritical. That pastor that tells you "as long as you believe in him, all the good stuffs will happen to you" is just purely disgusting.

God is awesome not because of what He can provide us in our Earthly lives. The only miracle He performed is staged in those Christians who are prosecuted and live a crappy life, but who don't hate but instead, love everything and everyone around them and have a strong faith in Him, and not only just faith, but they live up a life to what their God expected them to live.

And I did my first prayer after a year of evil-non-Christian-life, and it goes like this, "it's been awhile. How's it going? If You actually exist and care and love all these people around me who actually want to reach You, route them away from this person on the stage who don't know what he is talking about to someone who is wise and truly faithful to you, as they are mislead by the lost lamp who thought he knew what he was doing. That's if You exist. Amen."

Note that I am not a Christian and I wrote this up just for my own entertainment. You can accuse me of my hypocrisy, indeed I am, but if that's what you think about me you can keep it to yourself.

Bintulu Trip

2010-03-23T00:55:00.001+08:00

Introduction
And finally something realistic to blog about, something that is not entirely made-up, self thought or purely internet based. It's about a trip I went with PJPO to Bintulu.

Lets talk about PJPO and me.
I join the orchestra when I was around ten, which was called PJYCO at the time. I was a over-protected kid. I don't know how to cope with people, as well as the basic manners and "common sense" which most kid inherits from their parents. I was spoiled. Too spoiled in fact to understand why people disliked me. I have been ever trying to grow up and try to get into their social group, but I always ended up being annoying. I have been ever thinking why I couldn't be accept. Slowly I learn to blame my peers, my school, and eventually, my parents. I left the orchestra because I felt like I am not belonged.

Mr. Chan, the former Cello Leader, now Conductor(for some reason he was disliked by many of the members, I couldn't tell why, except for him being a funny and a little immature person) invited me to return to the orchestra and offers me an opportunity to earn some cash. It worked and I went back to the orchestra. I played in two concerts since then before the one in Bintulu.

Lets talk about the trip
Bintulu, Sarawak. I never heard about the place before. I didn't expect anything, but I was told that it is quite ulu, undeveloped in Malay. Doesn't bother me anyway.

March 18 - Thursday
It was a no-class day for me. I had my transport to LCCT planned; it is with my friend Nicholas where his father would fetch us to the airport early Friday. I decided to wait for Yuin Ching to get off work and have our last dinner together before I depart from the peninsular. After dinner, I drove to Klang and meet my friend there. We played some duet together and slept at exactly at 0000 hrs.

March 19 - Wednesday
LCCT Airport
After 3 hours of sleeping I was awaken by the first few seconds of Zetsubou Billy. I quickly canceled the alarm and fold myself into the warm blanket and sleep, just to be called up minutes later. I took a quick shower and put on the Green PJPO shirt, and we travel to the airport. I was half asleep for the almost an hour journey in the car.

It took us not more than 5 minutes to locate that crowd of people wearing the same Green PJPO shirt. I bought a regular ~220ml of mineral water from McDs, for 3 bucks. We checked in our luggage after queuing for half an hour. Our luggage was followed by an army of cellos, which unfortunately, not all of them will make it to Bintulu in one piece.

Most of our stomach started growling and therefore we were dismissed to get ourself fed. I went to McDs with the Concert Master and some other violinist and got myself a fish burger and some hush browns. After the meal, we walk into the terminal, and then got onto the plane.

Up in the Air
I followed the seat No. printed on my ticket and came to a window-seat. I look out the window and I can see the back of the jet's wing as well as it's engines. After the initial acceleration that squeezes me into my seat and the lift off I gradually fall asleep.

I mysteriously woke up minutes before the landing. The plane bounces up and down three times upon touching down and I heard some of the passenger criticizing the pilot's skills.

TBC

Get even, not.

2010-03-16T19:24:00.004+08:00

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Hopefully I was being self absorbing, and coincidently Facebook mysteriously removes people from my friend list. But if it was unfortunate that what I thought was right, then it's okay. It's natural for people like you to offend me, especially when you (still?) held grudge against me. . It's fine. Not going to blame anyone except for myself, for believing that it was wise to care about people like you.

Spawn no more overlords!

2010-03-15T19:11:00.005+08:00

The massive overlord army..floating over some cliff

Overlord flower.

Whats the point? -_-

够Random

2010-03-13T01:01:00.002+08:00

阿兰场511·购买力。com

咯了。I窝囊的人if按哟呢个体屠户is。
if有个体it特理论么。

2010-03-10T22:52:00.001+08:00

YC force me type new post :(

2010-03-01T14:21:00.005+08:00

Stole off avatarsucks.com

2010-02-01T17:42:00.001+08:00

I am too, yours.

2010-01-27T01:30:00.002+08:00

It's bizarre. I've never encounter something like that before.

Gave it a thought, i did.

I love you regardless.

2010-01-25T23:56:00.001+08:00

Achievements? I just can't think of any.

2010-01-21T18:51:00.001+08:00

Let me fear death. I am happy.

2010-01-19T21:30:00.001+08:00

Just wth was that? o.o

Change!

2010-01-19T00:47:00.005+08:00

And you realized you looked too far ahead. Yes, nothing you do in life means anything after you're dead, but spending a life waiting for death to come isn't really how you should be living.

Just because there is so much to live for, we're afraid of death. Yes it's true that you don't fear death if you lived a meaningless life, but you never truly live before.

Einstein was right.

I will live, now.

2010-01-18T23:01:00.004+08:00

And there's a future to live for. :)

2010-01-16T10:26:00.003+08:00

Sometimes you should just stop asking why and what if and move on and accept things as it is. The silence is killing me.

Lets just appreciate "now".

2010-01-16T01:42:00.012+08:00

And I couldn't sleep again. I couldn't.. It's hard for me to.. I need to find a way to distract myself.

I decided to search up my favorite songs on YouTube.. Lets see.

Not so modern-ish (Vocal)
And there's a reason why these oldies remained till this day. Some of the singers are already dead. Their voice lived on.

My personal fav in the entire list. This song always clams me down.

Just in case you wonder where Negaraku came from

My fav in this category, if Easy Living is counted out.

Outdated Pop... Covers
I don't really dig pop. They are over played IMO, not to say that they are bad, but just.. I don't really like to go with the flow.

I think this has been around 13529 years ago..

And for those Chinese who can't speak their own language.. P:

Jap Metal-ish
Some say they are just a bunch of people who doesn't know music making meaningless noises. I used to think the same, until I started loving it for no apparently reason, till this very day. These rhythmic "noises" helped to distract me from whatever problem is there. I just love to let myself go and start head banging.

Well it's time for me to (try and) sleep now.

2010-01-16T00:59:00.001+08:00

Go to sleep Alan -_-

2010-01-16T00:23:00.001+08:00

And it will be another long night.

I never intend to hurt, nor to overwhelm you with questions.

I never intend to not listen, nor to flood you with my own thoughts.

I never intend to insult, nor to doubt you.

I am sorry.

2010-01-15T17:00:00.000+08:00

And I spent my entire day thinking what went wrong, thinking why and what and how and when and who and where and what ifs and why am I still thinking about it?

Death

2010-01-15T14:59:00.004+08:00

I've been expecting my death. I just don't see the point of living. I am disqualified for life.

Don't get me wrong. I am not suicidal, but the only thing I feared about death is the pain I might suffer. Not many die without feeling a thing. I do wanna stay alive and see what the world would turn out to be, and will continue to search on my purpose in case I was motivated.

My death, though, I wonder what could be? A car accident? Heart attack? Gunshot?

I wonder what it feels like when a bullet punched through your lungs. The impact would throw me to the ground. I would not be able to breath as there is a opening on my chest. Blood is pouring out from both of my chest and my mouth/nostrils. I will try to breath hard but whenever I try blood will be sucked in from that wound causing more pain. Even so my brain would force me to breath harder and harder and I will eventually faint and later die due to the lack of oxygen/ blood pressure.

I wonder what it feels like when you crash your car into a truck head on. The engine/steering wheels will be jammed into my belly squeezing all my insides out. If I wasn't too lucky that I didn't faint, I would feel numb from below, or maybe extreme pain that is connected to my throat and neck. It will be horrifying while I wait for my blood to drain out and die.

Or maybe I am stuck in the car while it's on fire. There's no way to break the windows nor open the doors and I am in it all alone. I wonder if I will pull out my cellphone and start typing "Farewell. I'm dying. I will miss you xD Don't miss me xP Have a good life", or I would be fighting for my life till the very end. I wonder how painful it is going to be. I wonder if I could tell myself, "A pain is only a signal to indicate you're in danger. Well, now you're in danger and you don't stand a chance to survive. Be happy that you're leaving this world. The pain is just temporary."

I wonder if I could send texts out to people important to me after I realized I am dying soon. I would like to send one to him, and then her, and then to my family. I wonder if I will regret not doing something earlier, or maybe feel bad because I found something to live for, or a future worth fighting for. I wonder if she's there, so that I could joke about "don't miss me too much." It would hurt if I laugh I guess. Or maybe I could update my facebook status "Im dying lollolololololololol" and everyone start like-ing it.

2010-01-15T12:11:00.003+08:00

"Ouch"

2010-01-15T10:48:00.002+08:00

Sleepy.

And coffee doesn't work.

In fact, it relaxes me and sped up the process of me crashing into my table and drool.

New Post?

2010-01-15T00:31:00.003+08:00

And I couldn't sleep. Gosh I need to wake up in the early morning tomorrow for work. Fuck work. I hate them, especially with a pathetically low pay..

Wait. Tomorrow's Friday? Maybe I could ask.. wait I shouldn't. Control! Alan. Your reasonings! Where are they? You just fucked yourself up minutes ago letting your emotions take over. Control, yes. Just like when you drift, don't let it spin out, let it slide, and then pull it straight. Simple. Don't throttle too much or you spin, but not too little and you go straight before you hit the apex. Yes. Drift. Think about the sport, away from the.. shit just reminded myself again. Fuck this. Lol. Where are the fucking beers when I need them?

2010-01-12T23:03:00.000+08:00

Smart, you are. Smart enough to not look into that weird attractive purple light, you aren't.

2010-01-08T13:04:00.001+08:00

"The man who regards his own life and that of his fellow creatures as meaningless is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for life"

-Albert Einstein

2010-01-08T11:04:00.006+08:00

Keeping it in yourself, you make yourself believe that you are doing it to "protect" her, telling yourself, don't do what the other person did, that person who mocked you in front of all of her friends.

Painful, it is, but is this really your intentions? Hypocritical, indeed, you're just one of them, putting up a mask trying to make yourself look good.

But in fact, all you wanted is the impression that you're protecting her, making yourself feel great, thinking that you yourself is awesome.

Stop beautifying your actions with reasons, straying away from your actual selfish intentions.

So what if it hurts you, you fucking hypocrite.

2010-01-06T05:33:00.006+08:00

Life. Why live? Is it because we simply want to survive? Just because we were made that way? God. Where's God? It is of course logical. Figured out. Children dies. That's just what God wants. Before they got the choice, He take them all to Heaven, without needing them paying a cent to the "Church". That's the only loving side of God I could think of. At least they prevented them from going to "hell", if there's one. A free ticket to "salvation". Cheers for dead children.

Is there's nothing to live for? Except to live on, work for our survival. What comes next? Filling our "holes" with temporary objects. Promises? Lol. Love? Lol. Money? Lol. Fame? Lol. What are those after we are dead, that's if we are able the keep them throughout our lives.

Or become one of the church's slave? Promising a way to "live on" happily ever after, or if you don't like the idea, you might just "live on" all alone till eternity. Threatening? Who give a shit about the Bible if it doesn't "reward" you with a "life" insurance?

Go ahead and make the Earth a better place. Maximizing living experiences of those to come in the future, who all cared about one thing, to not die, and an attempt to hide from that fear. Medicine delays your death, but is that extra 10, 20 years worth of anything? Other then trying to fulfill the purposes you made up for yourself in an attempt to escape from the fear of death, what else? Why do you live? Just simply because your body wants you to?

Go ahead and be the fastest, strongest, biggest, craziest person in this planet. Yes. Cheers! They might just remember your name, but do it matter if you're dead?

Doesn't matter.

2010-01-05T13:01:00.001+08:00

I once came to a site where people can write down their secrets anonymously. One of those messages deeply grabbed my attention. It's a few paragraphs of words from a girl admitting that she loves to play with her admires' feelings, and it is written in a literative form. It triggers a picture in my mind of a short romantic story with a wicked ending.

Sadly I couldn't trace back to that paragraph, and I have been searching it for months.

Lol.

Dream

2010-01-05T12:51:00.000+08:00

I slept at around 9 am after stay up all night, and when I wake up it was already 1am the next day. Weird it was, but I don't really mind. I couldn't think of anything I could have done not sleeping other than wasting fuel and money. And although I couldn't remember most of the details, I know I was dreaming for many many hours.

Unfortunately, I could only briefly remember one to share in this blog.

It started with a terrorist attack in an airport(?) lead by a bunch of kids. It's somewhat similar to the "No Russian" level in Modern Warfare 2. I gain a first person sight of a particular kid, shooting airport(?) securities with his mp5. Later on the Special Forces arrived and I am one of them. For some reason, the shooting stopped and I picked up one of the kids. He asks me what happened, and I told him "we are the Special Forces, you're in good hands".

We entered a weird looking vehicle. It looked somewhat like a mini aircraft mounted on a roller coaster railway. After everybody got into the vehicle, it is gradually pull up by a chain lift. After gaining all the potential energy we needed, it started falling and in another second it goes up again, and this time, it lifts off and started flying. After a few banking turns and pitching, we landed right in front of someone's house, and he got out of the vehicle, and we flew back up again.

I couldn't remember anything else.

2009-12-25T04:51:00.001+08:00

So this is Christmas?

Satan Claus?

2009-12-19T04:02:00.001+08:00

This post is directed to Christians, just a humble point of view, nothing more, nothing less. Do not read if you are an easily offended Christian, even if you did, I warned you.

This is inspired by some pastor from my past church camp. Don't remember his name, but doesn't matter.

Christmas is originally meant to remind yourselves of your Saviour, your Lord Jesus Christ's birth/existence, but how many actually thought of Jesus Christ himself instead of the big old-fat-white bread-man in red costume; Santa Claus?

The argument was, Satan has replaced Jesus as the main focus of the festival into the funny looking weirdo, just, how many actually relates Jesus Christ to Christmas? Or rather, party, Christmas song, food, spraying weird white stuff all over someone's face.. Is that what Christmas truly existed for?

Since when has Jesus' birth has anything to do with an old fat man coming down through the chimney, giving out presents to the good kids?

Yes, the argument wasn't originate from me, and I am sure I did such a bad job that no one actually understand the message I am trying to relay to you all.

Never mind.

Perak Trip

2009-12-19T03:22:00.002+08:00

Prelude

Went to Perak 2 days ago to meet my online friend. He added me on msn by random upon spotting my email address in some Ragnarok forum or something like that.

Post Journey
Anyway, he told me he is going to KL for a job interview.. thingy (apparently a speech for the job) And I spontaneously ask if I could visit him there, and so I could bring him back with me when I return. He agreed. I didn't prepare anything until that very day.

That Day

I have a music performance that evening, and decided to go straight to Perak after that. In the afternoon, I downloaded a bunch of songs so that I could burn it in a CD and listen on the way there, but I happened to run out of CD-Rs, disappointed, I double-click on that Google earth icon, check on the road seconds before I leave, and went for the concert performance. And when I check, I left my cell phone in my house, so I had to go back and get it after the concert.

Journey

The highway normally consist of dangerous overtaking, speeding and hard braking when I see a warning sign about speed traps. After the highway, it was some two direction two lane road (one lane for each direction). It was dark; there is no street lights, and I loled when I saw the "Warning, school kid crossing" thingy sigh, because all I saw was trees and forest on the both side of the roads, "I couldn't even see a ghost's shadow," I thought to myself. Upon arriving(Teluk Intan), I stopped by McD (apparently the only McD in town o.o) and rush off to the toilet. Did I mention I always got hit by cars trying to reverse from their parking spot, twice? Fuck blind mother fuckers jk

Friend (name hidden in case it was another violation of personal information LOL)
And I met my friend there.. lets just call him Lee. xD Lee came in and lead me to his place by car. I came to a double story bungalow and thought, "Damn rich bastard" lol. I was lead to my room, and the night was about msning some mutual friends we had (actually we have only one) and early sleep.. Well not really, I went to bed early just to spam other people with texts(without replies unfortunately >':) and talk to myself. xD

Breakfast
Woke up at 6 and went eating erm.. Low Shii Fun (rat noodle.. well, it's just the name of the type of noodle because their shape is like a rat's tail) It was nice, and I was surprised by the price. There are three sizes, which is regular, large and extra large (Extra Noodles.. whatever you call it) and their prices was 2.something, 2.something and 3, and I couldn't think of anything I can get with 3 dollars back in KL. After breakfast, we went back to sleep again.

Pulau Tio.. I mean, Pangkor
After we wake up the second time, we went for lunch with Lee's family, his younger brother and his dad, which was stressful O.o (gosh, I am very bad at communicating with 前辈s(predecessors?)) After that, we went straight to Tio.. I mean Pangkor. It was about an hour drive from that area (to the port) and another 30 minutes? journey on the ferry. We went searching for his relatives by foot, and realised we went to the wrong direction, so he called up his relative to pick us up by bike one at a time, and he lent us the bike. (The island has very narrow roadways and therefore everybody rides.) We took a stroll on the beach and then went riding around the island.

Rempiting
I notice Lee has difficulties handling the bike, as he is not so familiar with that type of bike (a Kapchai, or more widely known as an underbone motorcycle) he rode a scooter at his place, which requires no manual gear changes. I requested him to swap around the driver and gunner slot.. I mean, passenger, and he said okay, so I took over the wheels and start accelerating down the narrow mountainy initial-dish road. "I could do a touge run here with my Myvi", I thought. After going around, we stopped by a Dutch abandoned fort to get some drinks. We went visiting the weird famous stone too (Batu Bersurat, which is directly translated as written rocks. Probably hints that there's a Islamic scripture written on it (I couldn't find the words anyway)). We went back at 4:40

TBC

Moodless

2009-12-15T20:16:00.000+08:00

Christmas

2009-12-15T01:56:00.000+08:00

Just found out my orchestra's performance is on youtube. I pick this particular song because it's Christmas.. almost Christmas anyway. And I thought I would be seeing someone xP

Storm Rider 2 Sucks

2009-12-11T06:36:00.002+08:00

Again, throwing a bunch of slow-mos isn't going to save your movie. Not to mention that there are like at least 5 seconds of slow-mo sequence every 2 minutes in every single fight scene! I mean, seriously, I don't need to look at the hero rotating in mid air, with his "omg I got pwned!" face for like 10 seconds. Seriously, without them, the movie would be a lot neater.

The plot seems to be cut short because of those time consuming slow-mo sequences(I mean, really, I can say there are about 50 or more of those scene)

Things that I felt missing was (note that I didn't read the original manga/comic/story or the previous movie):

Spoiler Warning

*What's so great about that backbone thingy that without it China would be fucked.

*The importance of many subjects seems to fade rather quickly, with a new one replacing it.

*What happened to the evil prince (Not sure what's his name, the son of the weirdy armor man)

*The (romantic?) plot for Cloud and the handkerchief girl is so poorly done, I don't feel anything at all when she died. (and yeah, actually I felt kinda good because she's so fucking annoying for asking the same obvious questing for like 3 times, "is wind possessed by demons?" when he is attacking everyone out of randomness.)

*The ending sucks big time. It was supposed to be a series, oh well, but it still sucks.

Really, do don't (pay to) watch this movie, it is a guaranteed waste of money/time, well, unless you want to know why it sucked, just don't.

2009-12-09T05:15:00.000+08:00

Looked up some original story of some of the Disney cartoons, and decided to blog about it.

The Little Mermaid

Disney Version

-Ariel is a mermaid and is one of the princesses of the ocean.

-Ariel falls in love with a human (which was apparently some prince). She saved him from a sinking ship.

-The prince, named Eric, has an deep impression his savior(Ariel)'s singings and decided that she is the person he is going to marry.

-Ariel was lead to the Sea Witch by some eels, seeing that she's in depression after her father, (the merman's king) destroyed her collection of human-world-stuffs.

-The Sea Witch agrees to make Ariel a human, but she has to get a "kiss of true love"(which probably means she couldn't just go up to the prince and vaguely kiss him) from the prince in three days, if not, she will be transformed into a mermaid, and her life will belong to the Sea Witch.

-The Sea Witch added that Ariel has to give her voice up. Ariel agrees.

-Ariel met Eric on the seashore.

-Without her voice, the Eric thought that she couldn't have been the one who saved him; disappointed.

-Regardless, they had wonderful times together

-Eric decided to forget about the girl and (decided to)propose to Ariel.

-The Sea Witch interferes by using the voice Ariel gave up, tricking the prince into believing that she is his savior.

-The prince proposed to the (disguise into hot-chick) Sea Witch.

-Ariel was heart broken at first, but after realizing that she was the Sea Witch, she decided to go after them.

-The Sea Witch revealed her true colors after having her magic pendent(that contains Ariel's voice) removed from her.

-They fought and killed the Sea Witch.

-Ariel's father allows her to marry Eric and stay in the human world.

-The End.

Original

-The Little Mermaid lives with her father and her sisters in the sea.

-The Little Mermaid met prince and saved prince from a ship wreck. She places him on a temple or some shit.

-The Little Mermaid talked to her grandma about human. She told her that human lives much shorter than merman, but after they die, they raise into heaven, while after merman die, they turn into bubbles.

-The Little Mermaid wanted to be with the prince. She seeks the Sea Witch.

-The Sea Witch lay down contracts, where if she gets true love from the prince, she will be able to raise into heaven after death as a human. On the other hand, if the prince marries another woman, she will die the next day, and vanishes into nothingness.

-And even if the Sea Witch can turn her into a human (by granting her legs), every step she take will be as if she steps on sharp knives and needles, and she will have to give up her voice, too.

-The Mermaid agrees to the terms and conditions, and became a human.

-The Mermaid met the prince on the sea shore, and had great time with him.

-Despite of the pain she has to bear taking every step, (which caused her feet to bleed) she is happy to be with the prince.

-Eventually, the Prince must marry a princess from a neighboring country.

-Both the Mermaid and the Prince is convinced that the Prince will not marry a stranger.

-The princess is revealed to be the person who is next to the Prince after when the Mermaid left him after saving him, and he is thrilled an convinced that she's the one who saved him.

-They marries the next day.(or immediately?)

-The little mermaid was on some ship, realizing that she is going to disappear soon, she emoed.

-The little mermaid's sisters attempted to help her, by requesting a dagger from the Sea Witch, which if the mermaid uses it to kill the prince(or in some version, both the prince and the princess), she could become a mermaid again, and will not die due to her previous contract.

-The little mermaid couldn't bring herself to kill the prince she love, and leap into the sea and became air bubbles. (reminded me of Megaman)

-The end.

And I didn't know it will be THIS long. Stopping here then. Tata.

2009-12-05T22:54:00.005+08:00

It's bothering me. Something that was there, gone. Tried not to think about it. Tried not to write about it. Lol.

Heartbroken?

But then, really.

In the end, there's nothing. Everything that is given to you in this life, you can take away none when you're gone, so why bother?

Chah Js

2009-12-05T12:16:00.001+08:00

Overnight
I have been staying in his place for three days. Whenever something happens, I would want to do that. Staying in my house alone wasn't the best thing to do, especially for an emotional, self-uncontrollable person, that's it. Having someone to watch over you is always better than destroying stuffs at home, well I know that sounded weak, yes, weak I am, always been.

Disappear
And man, he's better at disappearing than ever. We were invited to Blitzone, and after a game of Left for Dead 2, Janson told me he has to have dinner with his friends, which he didn't told me prior. It's safe to say that he left me alone in the cc, well not really. Fortunately there are other friends in the cc at that time, Alric, Yee Rick(which was invited by Janson), and G came afterwards.

Blitzone
And I thought I was an addict. Yes surely I was. It's one of the longest streak I have been in a CC. I got there with Janson at around 4? We started playing for about and hour and he left. I stopped playing when he left because I didn't know about his plans to disappear. I went to Alric's computer and start calling him Stupid Noob Roman. Yee Rick came and started talking about how Janson ditched us. We started playing COD:MW2 coop for awhile, until we joined Alric and friend's DotA game, and back to COD after dying and struggling to survive in that DotA game.

Stealth
And we were stuck on this mission called "Stealth", we were supposed to "cunningly" avoid most guards, take down some that is on our way, "swiftly", and get to the goal. We tried to imitate that for the first 10 tries, which always ended up with either one of us alerting the guard, causing swarms of enemies to run towards you in every direction, eventually painting your body with bullet holes. Well, we gave up being "cunning and swift", but "deadly and swift" whatever you call it. We kill every group of enemies we encounter, and when we trigger the alarm, the population of the enemy forces were so low, we let them go "extinct".

Disappeared again!
And I woke up this morning. Janson disappeared again. Called him via his house phone, and he is out having brunch.

2009-12-04T13:29:00.000+08:00

For some reason I was afraid of starting another post (written in words instead of plain pictures), but then, I realized, he got what he wanted, and have no more reasons to look at this pathetic blog anymore. And even if he did, and decided to start another unhappy conversation, (or in the last case, provoked me into starting one), I have nothing to lose. He is nothing to me now. So please, leave me alone. Thank you.

Bike

Punctured Tires
I took out my bike for a ride yesterday. It's been a long time since I rode my bike. The last time I rode it, it was in early November. I was riding out to school for my finals, and did a quick U-turn because I noticed something's wrong with my front tire. When I brought out my bike though, it seemed okay, only to have the front tire punctured on my way to Vince's. I rode it to a nearby workshop, and have them fix my tire for me.

Rain
They told me the tire is already worn out and I have to change a new one. Unfortunately, I don't have enough money, and I asked them to only change the tube for me. As they work on my bike, rain starts to pour outside. I waited in the workshop, and decided to ride off after the rain has soften.

Gas
I failed to notice that needle on my fuel meter pointing towards a dangerously low degree until my bike starts to lose power, and finally stop moving, in the middle of the LDP highway. I had to push the bike for quite a distance to a nearby fuel station kilometers away, not too far I supposed, but walking along the side of a highway is dangerous enough, not to mention you have to push a heavy piece of metal, (with two wheels, fortunately.)

Bike
Adding on to the worn out front tire, my brake pad is worn off too, as well as some rust on some of the metal equipment causing them to handle very poorly. It feels as if the bike's body is going to break into pieces anytime, and the handling of the bike is so bad it keeps swaying from left to right during corners.

School

Original Plan
I was so sure I am going to fail my finals, all of them, and was planning to transfer to a more affordable university, (MU is just way too money sucking), well, to MMU, (apparently two "M" is cheaper than one), and I needed a new start, too.

Actual Results
Results came out on 3rd of December, (the date reminded me that I could see her within 3 weeks time if I hasn't dug up my own grave). To my surprise, I only failed one subject instead of all four. The one I failed was the business theory part of my course, namely, IT in Organization, FIT1003. Now it gave me a reason to stay, which I don't really appreciate anyway.

Life

Hate?
And I thought again. Jason reminded me of how the whole affair, I was the culprit. You can't expect yourself to be the hero all the time. This story is not your story, and you're the villain when it comes to who's right and who's wrong. To be honest, I never thought of right or wrong. "Moral values? Hah! A method of control." But when I see it the Jason way, yes, I have no reasons to hate him, and he has plenty in return. And I do owe him a sorry. I am sorry. Everyone has their issues and problems, shortage or whatever you call those? Just don't be too critical.

Art of War
And I was reading the art of war, and it says, roughly, if it wasn't necessary, avoid all possible conflict; a value I have always held tight during my childhood, lost over the course of my life. Yes, if I did take it that way, just that day, nothing would happen.

2009-12-02T12:50:00.002+08:00

Update

2009-12-01T06:55:00.000+08:00

Lol can't think of anything to write. Damn.

2009-11-18T15:57:00.001+08:00

Fuck life.

Hai, mai dear reeders

2009-11-13T01:16:00.007+08:00

Its bean awile sins I post. I veli out of de idea wat to pos n decid to pos 1 like janson did; with powderful bloken engriss.

todae I stardee hole dae also dunno what i stardeeying. Tomolo is mai final final peper. yes, it sux ballz to low that im goreng to fail my prelius papers. Neway i also decide to stardee also dun1 gif up on my berry last paper eventhough auther is failing.

dunn what else to say here. Yesday went to the lestoran veli expense one. Tinking my dompet going to bocor edi. Goot ting Janson belanja mee. But at nite also eat kerry roger, eat until fuel money also no enuf, need press my bank. My bank start with 3k, now below 1k edi. Fucking sian sial.

sum weird ting groling out of mai face dunno what lai de. Diuniasing damn annoing. Like sum weird bug inside suxing mai blard oni, make me so tired the hole day. Make mah face look like meh yat bin jor. Babi btul.

Very tired d wa ai kun liao.

Kns. Damn hard lo type lapsap Ingris. Nid tink tink tink dunoe hao ppl do it so issily. Play so mani kuwakchai also bo use.

Yes, if u lid till dis part n still can folo wat gua say gib urself a slap pls.

2009-10-05T13:46:00.004+08:00

Bottomless drink, in fact, has a bottom. They just assume you won't be able to finish all the stocks they have. Okay, I know how it is physically impossible, but logically, you might just hit the bottom if you try hard enough.

Okay I have no idea why I wrote this. :P

Live For Speed

2009-10-03T00:35:00.016+08:00

GO DOWNLOAD IT AND PLAY WIF MEEE :DDDDDD

http://www.lfs.net/?page=downloads

*Screenies*

"Way beyond your eyes"
This game is not all about graphics, although the graphics were moderate; the fun is in it's realistic handling of the car, as well as the competitive multiplayer featured online.

Tuner
Customizable parts including brakes, Suspensions, Steering, Final Drive(Gear ratios and crap), Tyres, and.. Passengers? It's not "level 1 suspensions" upgrade, you actually got to tune it's height, stiffness, anti-roll, damping and stuffs, under the "suspensions" category.

"Sideways"
Oh yeah, and my favorite part of any racing game; Drifting! It is hard to drift in this game, not without adjusting the suspensions, tyres and whatever options that is found under the tuning section.

Random Crash

Okay,
don't be disgusted by this.. erm.. physics glitch? It's more like, just
like many games, parts as a whole don't break into pieces, therefore,
the energy generated is purely transferred into sending the car
sky high instead of twisting the car into a pile of metal.

2009-09-25T12:51:00.003+08:00

For some reason, the dinosaur that I wished for, never came.

I found a new hobby! Skidding on a bike has never been so much fun! Skidding around corner just scares other drivers off, as they probably thought you're going to fall, but you know, you're under control. No idea what to add here.

Days ago, I reluctantly pay the workshop mechanic as he say, "bang, lu punye tire blakang habis la, tak bleh guna. Kena tukar! Bro, your rear tire is done(worn out), you have to change it!" I asked him how much it cost, and he replied with "60!" I told him all I had was 50, therefore, he did a 10 ringgit discount for me, wow! (For some reason I think I was conned. I think)

Trashing your parent's car on a rainy hasn't been more crazy. Spinning on the road, not being to counter steer off, hitting the right rear tire crooked. Under the rain, kick at the peak of your strenght on the tire, and thought it go somehow go back straight. What's next, pissed off friends went away, leaving you alone waiting for the toll car to come, in the rain, in the car, doesn't matter.

Today, I was passing CarA on it's left. It is normal for bikes to pass cars on the left side, and it is not illegal at all. CarB in front of that CarA did an emergency brake, and CarA reacted quickly enough to push the honk and turn all the way left, instead of hitting CarB, it sends me airborne, landing on the other lane, CarC accelerating down that lane ran me over, turns me into a pile of meat. Of course, it's all in my head. What happened instead, has a much happier ending. CarA jerked to the left, but immediately turn back when the driver noticed me. He/she? didn't hit CarB either, and CarC is nowhere to be seen.

It's been a while

2009-09-17T13:44:00.010+08:00

Since I wrote something long here.

Today I brought a bar of green-tea halls candy. I kept eating and eating until i fell asleep in class. Then when I woke up, I started eating again. My friend in the course wanted one, so I gave him. The friend next to my friend wanted one too, so I gave her one. The guy next to her wants one too, and I gave him one. The guy who sat behind me wants one, so I gave him one. Eventually, I have only one left.

Yesterday, I rode in the rain. I was tailing Hon Wai's car. It started small, but all of a sudden, the rain pours onto the ground like flushing the toilet, except with a much larger scale, and for a longer period too. My whole body got wet, and I started shivering after a while. I mean, imagine yourself fully wet, then constantly greeted with winds of 80kph. It was so cold. My mind turn blank. For some reason I stopped crying. At times, I don't even remember what I am doing. All I know was I have to follow the green Mazda I have always followed. My goggle turned blurry. It was hot on the inside, and cold outside. Water vapors begin to form on the inside of the glasses. The whole thing is dreamy, I literally feels like I am my dream land. Everything turns warm. It's a very comfty, nice feeling, like you went to your bed perfectly clean, covered by a thick, soft blanket in the perfect temperature. I do wished I was dreaming though, at points, I actually thought of falling from the bike, so that I could 'wake up'. Obviously, I didn't.

Earlier that day, it was midnight. I was going online. It was all dreamy, too. The scenery outside my house is nostalgic. It was yellowish-toned due to the street lights. On the road, the shadow of the tree swings gently. The small patch of bump under the tree, there rests my first and only pet dog. I don't even remember her name. Maybe, Lucky? Or Lucy? Lol. I really can't recall. She was a brown... normal dog you find on the street? She died in an accident. I can still remember how she looked like when she died. She managed to walk back to the house, and collapse. At least, that's what I imagined when I saw her lying there lifeless, with her eyes looking into the house. I came back from school. I don't remember if it was by bus, or what. But when I came home, I saw her lying facing inward. Strangely, she was lying on the open, non-shady part of the house, therefore I went over and looked. Shocked, there's a pool of blood on the other side. All I could do from then, is to remember the last time I look at her, the last time I fed her, the last time I pet her. She's gone all of a sudden.

Back to the day. I was wishing there's a dinosaur outside my house. Strange huh? At least, if I really saw one, and didn't realize it was a dream, I can still wake up. But no. It wasn't a dream. It is real. The pinching test told me it is, the not-breathing test told me it is. My eye tells me there is no dinosaur outside my house. Just like the dog, like it or not, you just have to live with the present, the now, accept what you had in the past is gone all of a sudden, or gradually lost, it will not come back anymore.

A violinist without a bow

2009-09-16T19:01:00.002+08:00

I broke both bows of mine, and yeah, one of them cost over 2000 ringgit.

I can't play the violin anymore. I don't have the money to buy nor repair them.

Blog Restored

2009-09-10T14:51:00.000+08:00

For some reason I thought I don't need this blog anymore.

They told me to keep the blog even though I know I am not going to post here anymore.

Wait, there's a a post here now.

I hate maths and logic especially when you could not make sense of it.

What!?

2009-08-18T08:49:00.000+08:00

Facebook.

Click to enlarge

What with all these insecurities?

Click!

2009-08-16T22:18:00.000+08:00

http://alan.c.mybrute.com/cellule

Hatchet and parang

2009-08-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parang_(knife)

Despite of hearing news of Blitz being robbed twice, we decided to go there.

Was playing COD4 with a few strangers, a couple sitting opposite of me, to be exact and a few other random pub players. I noticed the couple kissed and made out a few times during loadings/or when two of them died and was waiting to respawn the next round. Was chatting and teasing them about it in the game.

All of a sudden, I heard a loud bang and thought someone got too excited playing and start slamming the mouse. I was wrong. I looked and saw a man holding a hatchet demanding money and stuffs from the couple. I turned and told Faye that we should go now. And before I can explain why, another guy with a parang pointed at me and told me to sit down.

I sat and continue playing the game I just launched. It was Race Driver: Grid. For some reason, it's also the game I was playing at the time where my friends and I got jumped by a few Malay gang. I heard people pleading to keep their ID card and was greeted with yellings. I took out my wallet and calculate how much I am (supposed) to lose if they take it all. I was wondering if I should take out my ID card so that I can just hand over the wallet.

For some reason the robbers skipped Faye and me. Daniel handed some Singapore Dollars equivalant to 200 Ringgit (I guess). One of them came and told me to give them my cell phone. I asks if I can keep my simcard while taking out my phone. For some reason, the moment he saw my phone, he was disappointed and told me to keep it.

This is the darn phone that the robbers didn't want.

Not long after, they walk away from the cyber cafe. For some reason, everyone was rushing outside right after they left. I told Daniel and Faye to stay while I walk outside to see what happened. It was too crowded and I couldn't see anything so I walk back.

Before we walk out of the cc, I tried to pay the cashier, but I was sort of small change. She says it's okay to not pay fully.

Later we found out one of the robber got jumped by the mad crowd of cc-goers and is taken custody by the police arrived at the scene. We drove to 1U hoping there won't be any robbery taking place there.

The good thing about most robbers in Malaysia are, they usually don't usually have a gun, and an escape plan.

Nothing

2009-08-03T01:16:00.000+08:00

There's nothing to be sad about.

Nothing to worry about.

Ultimately, there's nothing.

Water Splashes

2009-07-30T23:52:00.000+08:00

Click pictures to enlarge

Took this awhile ago. Darn nothing to do so I reposed it.

Lets talk about the pictures.

It's about throwing stuffs into a fountain.

Hmmn.

Moments captured in the pictures stay forever.

2009-07-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

Crazy

Death Note.What's up, People?

2009-07-28T10:12:00.001+08:00

I consider this the very first metal song that I actually loved.

The first time I heard it I was like "wtf why do they fuck up Death Note with this song".

But for some reason the more I listen to it the more I like it.

I used to hate metals.

Daytona

2009-07-27T00:25:00.000+08:00

Thinking about making a vid about Daytona USA, those you find in most arcades in Malaysia. At least I can enjoy some competition :P jk

2009-07-18T12:04:00.000+08:00

People just like to tease, no matter which group I am with. What's wrong with me. I don't mind if it's just one or two jokes on me. But when it gets too much, it's annoying.

I don't care even if I am much more fortunate than 6billion people on this planet. Just fuck off.

Boom!

2009-07-12T23:28:00.002+08:00

For some reason, no matter how crazily I drove, I never got into an accident, until today.

After dropping some friends, I drove slowly until a T-Junction. I was at the straight road, and I wanted to turn into that junction to my left.

From far, I saw another car coming by. It was fast. There are cars parked beside the road, so I thought it was too narrow for us to go through together, I decided to stop my car and wait for it to pass by first.

As I look, I wait, and wait, and wait, until I realised the driver didn't notice me. She turn straight into me. Just seconds before we crash, I managed the honk twice. So it sounded something like this.

*honk honk!*
*Squirkkk...!*
*Crash*(consist of metal bending sound, glass shattering and other random noises)

I looked inside the other car and the women looked shocked, so do I. I tried to open my door but it's stucked. I got out from the other side.

"Are you alright? Sorry I didn't see you."

"It's okay.."

"Let's move our cars away first okay?"

"Okay."

We moved our car. I saw water pouring down underneath her car. She then parked aside and walk to me. She called the husband, so I called my dad. She do realised it's her fault, and nodded when I ask if she is going to pay.

Her husband then came by with an Audi. (She drives a Waja) As soon as he got down, he yelled at her with hokkien which I couldn't understand at all. Then he checked my car. He said he's going to pay by cash if it's not that expensive, but ill probably be claiming the insurance for that since it doesn't look cheap to repair my car.

He wanted to give me his number but I said I had hers. (The name is DG anyway) After more yelling and scolding, he drove off. She said sorry again before she left, I replied with a "it's okay, drive safely"

I drove back a few meters from the crash site and rang the door bell.

Boom

2009-07-12T23:28:00.001+08:00

2009-07-11T10:12:00.000+08:00

I had safety cables. But you just brought yourself a diamond saw blade.

2009-07-10T14:47:00.000+08:00

175... 176... dang! I had to take that ramp.

Haircut

2009-07-08T01:12:00.001+08:00

I got a haircut today.

When I was in the office, I coughed non-stop. My aunt caught me coughing everytime she walks to my desk, so she decided to grant me an early leave for today (and a holiday for tomorrow).

After lunch, I was suppose to drive home and rest, but for some reason, I thought it was a good opportunity to get a haircut, I drove to... Thomas and Guys? Can't really remember the name, eventhough I've been getting my haircuts there for about 1 year now.

The only reason I preferred it was because there's a "student cut" thingy where you allow yourself to be experiments for students learning to become barbers/hair stylers in the shop for a really low fee. I got this package card that allows your hair to become their "subject of" practices for about 6 times within a year, which cost around RM5 (1.409045USD) per cut. (and it includes washing your hair too)

I walked up to the back of the shop (the classroom for the students) and noticed that it was a bunch of new breeds, which was probably recruited just recently.(I knew the students from the last batch) I walked to the execution chair (nah jk it's just a set of chair and barber stuffs blah uhoo) and this guy with L's hair (from death note) but instead of black it was orange. He nervously walk up to me and start putting a tower around my neck and took out a shotgun and blast my brains out of my head. Okay I was being random. Need to sleep now tata.

The storm is over, or can it be the eye of the hurricane?

2009-07-06T15:14:00.000+08:00

For some reason this song kept 'Echoes'-ing in my head. It was sang by a familiar voice. I found comfort in it, strangely.

I think saw the rainbow. It was quicker than I thought, yet it's different from all the recoveries I had in the past.

I ate Double Cheese Burger today. I never had one since almost ten years ago. When I was a kid, I started off eating Filet-O-Fish all the time. Then I switched to Double Cheese Burger/McChicken Burger. During puberty, I started off eating Big Mac, before Chicken McDeluxe came about. The burger was okay, only if it's a bit larger.. Darn I am hungry now because that's the only thing I ate at lunch, and a packet of fries, but that doesn't fill up much of me.

It's time to face the fact that it's not there anymore. Like how I can't have a straight right pinky, and how I am never going to be a pilot for having eye sight problems.

The truth is, I am always a little too sentimental.

Good bye, for real.

2009-07-06T12:22:00.001+08:00

Friend.

One day I won't be able to find you anymore. You might still be there, but you are nothing but the shell that no longer contains the person I once knew of. No matter how far I went, how strong my will is, no matter how crazy I can go, you're just not there anymore. Only if I can travel back in time, I can find you. But really, it's just not possible, silly.

Only in my dreams I can meet you again. Ttyl.

Really, I need a haircut.

Move on

2009-07-06T08:54:00.000+08:00

I have a sore troat. It wasn't severe though. I can't really feel it, but I know it's there.

Work is as boring as ever, especially when you're not working willingly. Yes, I was forced to work here, by my dad. Not like I put up a fight or anything though, I was applied to work here before I knew it, to put up with my dad's reputation, I just have to work here for some really low pay.

Everything is temporal, including these stirred emotion occuring in my head right at this moment. Everything is going to be fine soon. Maybe it's time to look at the ocean, or maybe the star lited sky, and realise how small our problems really was. One day we are going to leave this world, so why bother.

If that one short precious time we had together is the best we can have, it's all we can have. I appreciate how we had it once. I remember I said it all the time, "lets enjoy while it last <:", I did. Something is better than nothing. Everything eventually becomes nothing in the very end of our lives anyway.

Sometimes, it's not what we want to be, but it's what we had to be. And even if what we had to be isn't what we want to be, getting upset isn't going to help.

But still, what was once important is still important.

It was like a civilization on an island filled with prosper, joy and peace, ended up in just one volcanic eruption came out of no where. A friend's weapon is always deadlier and more effective than your enemies'. Okay ignore me it's just random crap.

I need more time to sort everything out, let it go, and move away from this sweet little discontinued memory.

Temporal

2009-07-06T01:55:00.000+08:00

Is there anything in this world that are not temporal? 4 months? 3 years? It just happens.

I am always fear of loosing important people in my life. I lost many in my life, and I am not able to go back to where we once was. As far as I can remember, we can never get it back.

It's 2am. I have to wake up 5 hours later to go to work.

Just when I am waiting for the hug which was (promised? I guess it's not a promise) to me, some sudden event took away something significant to me from my life. I was never prepared for this. I just can't sleep. There's a calm before a storm, until it came claiming all I believed in.

It's the stuffs that kept running through my head. Flash backs, flash forwards. These liquid coming out of my eyes, I never learn to control it. My phone's speaker is partially broken because of tears getting into it.

It's always been there. It's always been happening. Smsing, calling on a daily basis, stalking, what-so-ever you call it, it's always been there WAY before you little convenient bastard got your hands on what you have now. Just because it annoys you and ONLY you doesn't mean anything to me. I don't give a shit about you filthy hypocrite, and you better prove that I am wrong about you. What happened on the convo took away all my respect that I had for you.

Sometimes we just have to learn to let go.

Cheese sin

2009-07-05T21:23:00.001+08:00

While driving, I was pointing at random objects and yelled "Cheese sin one!", with or without Janson in the car. I wanted to speed but I held myself back. I had a conversation with myself in the car. I am random.

I was eating "Penang Chicken Slice Hor Fun" in SS14. It was good but unfortunately I wasn't in the mood to enjoy eating. I had a terrible sore troat and for some reasons I need to cry. I eat chilli so that I can come up with an excuse while some tears leaked out of my eye.

I wind up the metronome and start practicing in a slow tempo, playing in staccto. For some reason, tear started dripping down from my chin to the keyboard. I tried to read the score but I can't see anything. It doesn't matters anyway, since I have already memorise this piece; it's either I memorise it, or I can't play it, that simple.

I wanted to get a haircut.

Bukit Jalil Pictures *Updates

2009-07-03T00:22:00.000+08:00

Updates!

click to enlarge

Another Stone fell into the stone

Chee Hong playing with his cheap camera jk

Night Lake Thingy

Water Flowout from the thing

The windmill from the outside

Red flowers with a blurred windmill as it's background

My mom's CR-V parked in the parking lot viewed from the park

More red flowers

Flower on a tree

Nightfalls

These are some of the pictures I took in Bukit Jalil. Chee Hong (aka Panda) needed to get his photography assignment done. I decided to go with him and bring my own camera too. (It's my dad's camera btw). Here are some of the best I had.

click to enlarge

Inside the windmill

Trees

Stone falls into water

Leafs disguised as flower

Water falling into a pond of water

Sigh there is so much more it just won't upload the others. Maybe later. Gotta sleep now :D

2046

2009-07-02T00:43:00.000+08:00

I am looking forward to watch it again. I remember when this frist came out by dad brought the dvd and I only fast forwarded to the sex scenes. Yes I admit I am kinda pervy, but then..

I need to watch this art film once more.

Listen to them, please :D When I post something up I do expect people to.. erm.. nmevemrind

This is random.

I can't tell how much this annoys me. Everytime this song plays in my mind I couldn't remember where does it come from even if I crack my mind.

This is a music video someone made using cutscenes from the movie.

And apparently this was sang by Faye... I mean, Faye Wong. :D Yeah, she's in the movie, starred as one of Tony Leung's sex prey... wait, I forgot about the story.

2009-06-24T14:10:00.001+08:00

Was playing the... new typing game on facebook in the office (lol)
Darn now I got my adrenaline pumping I couldn't concentrate.

2009-06-23T08:48:00.000+08:00

Waking up early rushing to my uncle's factory... I am now stoned in the office not knowing what to do.

2009-06-23T00:52:00.000+08:00

lifeless_and_bored.png

Was planning to make a bunch of drifting video in different games and compile them together into one aMV or something... Too lazy though, photoshop is much more convenient...

Credit to DW3Girl on deviant art, the artist of the original picture, Virgil, the nemesis/evil brother (most likely twin) of the main character, Dante, in Devil May Cry series, sitting down on a red sofa drawn/painted entirely on photoshop.

Credit to Jay Chou for his head.

Individuality.

2009-06-22T16:50:00.000+08:00

I had enough hearing people telling me what to wear, or what hairstyle should I have. Just because everyone is having the same hairstyles, same outfits, same shoes, same style, same pose, especially when it resonates with those people in tv shows, you're one class higher than anyone else? Come on.

And blogs, doesn't always have to be touching, emotional, sentimental... w/e. Stop placing us with you people, "trendy", full of "heart stopping.. sacrifices... broken relationships..." (whatever you can think of) in comparison, please. Most of my posts were not meant to be 'touching'. In fact, I would be surpirsed if anyone feel that way while reading my blog and if you do, go seek medical attention immediately.

Just because everyone in your country kills, rapes, shoot down commercial jets doesn't means it's OK to do so.

2009-06-22T00:16:00.001+08:00

A few of your frend tease 9 you no balls and they even pool together RM480 to chalengge you to go steal the panty of local gangster head Ah-Squidy. If you succesfully bring back her XXXXL panty then RM480 is yours and they will stop calling you "Xiu Chun Chee" alredi. Tired of being a chikin all your life you decided to make a change!!

You hantam 2 cans of tiger to get abit high and you proceed to Ah-Squidy house. It must be your lucky day! From outsid ethe house her XXXXL sized panty is highly visible and easily reachable.

All in All the whole thing is over in less than 2 minits .... you bring the XXXXL sized panty to your frends.

Apart from being RM480 richer .... your balls also feels bigger ledi!

2009-06-21T03:47:00.001+08:00

You dem broke but your Ahlian gf birday kambing soon .... so you go see your Taikor 6PP and ask him got any Kangtau for you anot.

Your Taikor see you so kesian plomised to give lu RM3,888 if you sucksesfooly kautim a deal for him, You kena smuggle 500 bijiks of Meth pills from Kuching to KL

It dont looks like you have much choice ... so you said yes. The next day you all packed up and go to your taikor's office to take the merchandise.

Arrive there only ... your taikor asked u to take off your pants and bend over .... then only you know how they want you to bring the 500 pills over!!

Too late to backout ... want it anot you kena bend over la! ... it was blardee painful but you take it like a man!
Altho its still painful but you act like dem cool lidat ... you boarded the plane and sit diam diam fearing the "packet" might break.

You dont dare to eat and drink at all ... you been very careful and to your relief ... you arrived at the LCCT without much complication

You then get off the plane and proceed to imigration check out ... so ngam the fler in front of you brought alot of pepper powder from Kuching and the custom is checking to see if his powder is "real" or not ... one of the custom officer opened the big packet of pepper too rough and the pepper powder flew all over the place.

your nose smell the powder and you let out a very big AHHCCHHHOOO!!! and you suddenly felt something pop out of your ass go thru your pants and dropped on the floor!

Lotsa peeple saw that, including several custom officers ... Caught in the act! Looks like you not gonna be seing your Ahlian gf anytime soon!

Another random post

2009-06-12T02:39:00.000+08:00

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WARNING: If you are a Christian/Muslim/whateverelse and you loves your God/Allah/AnyGod'sName really much and is about to stand out for Him even if it costs your life do not, I repeat, DO NOT read this post this is a complete bullcrap I wrote just to kill my time

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Lets talk about God.

Saw this little thingy in my inbox

God didn't invent humans at all. He creates them out of mud and stuffs. Hey, don't laugh. We were carbon based life forms. We Humans can never create anything though. Everything we does is take a little of this mix it with a little of that.. and wa-lah! We got something new. We don't create them out of nothing, there is always something that existed in the first place, like, stone, sand, metals... Can we create them? We might be able to extract it from something else but, who made it possible for us to make stuffs? Without materials needed what can we do? Tried building a camp in a forest? Sure, you can. Pick up some stones, planks, decorate it with leaves and stuffs. Ha! You made a camp!! Or more like, you made a camp out of stones, planks, leaves, and anything that's already there! Now try making one when you're in outer space. Haha! You can't. Wait, I meant outer space as in, floating in space in your space suit, not on a planet. See? You can't create anything! Everything we did was solely a conversion. There's one phrase that strikes my heart when I heard it for the first time though. It was in a camp where the mentor said "Apakah kita jiki tiada bumi yang dicipta oleh-Nya?" Which translates to "What are we when there's no Earth that was created by Him?" Okay the translation sounded cheesy. But it remains there even if I forgotten everything that happened during the camp.

One thing though. Where do all these objects come from? Look, we don't have an explaination on "How do the world begins". We never can have, well, at least, it's impossible for now. Where do "God" come from? "I am the alpha and the omega. The beginning and the end." Funny how it was quoted in Fallout 3. I doesn't carry a significant meaning in the game (or did it? I didnt finish the game anyway) So, God existed in the first place. And in the end, He will still be there? Wow! Cool. So where is He? Is the Bible referring to.. erm.. Time? Time's always there right? It kept running and running and running and.... seems meaningless eh? Heard of my Conductor saying "Man created time. Time is reoccuring, but when we die, our time travels in a straight line" (Well just heard part of it so it's up to you to translate this)

But wait. God made Man or it's the other way round? Religion is a powerful tool, used both in ancient time and still today, it was used to make terrorist fly commercial jets into buildings, or made people yelling God's name while blowing himself up along with people who was caught in the misfortune. But why is it powerful? (Everything writen from here was completely based on readings of several books and I wasn't even sure about it's credibility) Our genes was coded (by whoever that creates us) in a way that it has a desire to live on. To live on it's important for it's kind to reproduce. Why do you think there is lust? What's the difference between having sex with your spouse and having sex with several strangers at the same time? It's still the same thing that drives them into doing it... we will talk about that someday else.

Lets go back to our "gene's will to survive" shall we? Most people who lives wants to continue to live. Well, this can be explained by why most motorbike riders doesn't jump off their bike when they are speeding over 100Mph. To think of it, it's so easy to die riding a bike. Just, jump off. And you will probably end up dead. But why no one is doing it?(at least not someone who still had a little sense in them, and were not in a desperate situation) The will to survive. Even in front of the computer reading this non-sensical post there is still so many ways you can die conveniently. Hah. (I am not responsible for people killing themselves/attempt to kill themself reading this post) Okay, how is this related to God?

People make use the fact that we still wants to live, even we know death is certain, but many of us wants to believe that we somehow live even after we were dead. If it was really invented by a certain someone, he/she should be credited as one of the world's greatest mastermind. Exploiting the "will to survive" encoded in our genes. Hah. One smart thing was, you can't prove anything about dying. It may be argued that there are a certain amount of scientist who were Christians, stating, "Hah! Even logical/smart people believe in Christ!" Well, for me, it's more like, logically, you couldn't find proof to prove it right, but you couldn't prove it wrong as well. So it's better to believe JUST in case it's right, because people prefers to stay happy forever with God than burning in hell for the rest of your... time.

Religion is a gamble though, really. Faith is a gamble. More to described as a "blind trust". Do you trust a stranger walking to you saying "follow me into this room. I will give you whatever you want in the end." No. You might think that it was probably a fraud. Wait, now he points to this long que of people following him, "look, you should talk to them." When you talk to them, they told you about how great this stranger was, even if all of them has yet to recieve the rewards the stranger promised them. Will you join them? You will only know what's inside the room when you're actually in it. And no one has ever came out of the room, so you couldn't prove it wrong.

Seriously, I am sick of hearing praising God when they see wonderful things, like, "look at the flowers! Ahh.. it's God's creation.." and when they saw bad things, they tells you, "it's the work of the devil". "God created everything." Yeah I agrees. But that doesn't means that He has controls of the things that He made. Like, as a programmer, not all programs you made are perfect. Some are buggish, some has flaws, and some you don't even remember what you wrote. All I thought was, "God is Love" and "Everything that happens is by God's will" don't co-exist. Let's say, you love your child. When you saw him/her trying to pick up drugs, do you say "drugs is no good for you, but just because I am letting you to have free will, I let you choose what you want to do" You call that love? Well, this arguement is loose though, more on how you define love. But for me, if I love someone, I wouldn't allow them to do things that I thought wasn't good for them, or at least, make an effort to stop them.

"Everything that happens is by God's will" Well, if that's true, how do You love us? Like, wow! Let's play "Humans-3". I loves this game man! I am going to make jets fly into buildings. Wow Look at the graphics! Wait what are these people doing? I love you people! What!? They don't think I existed? Screw you, go to hell! (Leftclick->send to hell) okay, wait, it's by my will that they don't like me, haha too bad for you. Now lets make different nations. Oh ya, make them fight each other! Okay, now make an evil counterpart of me. Wait, it's not even a counter part. Everything's under my command bwahahhaa (forgive me it's 4am in the morning) xD Okay lets skip this :p

Yeah don't be affected by this post because it;s nothing more than a time killer for me. Maybe it's something more but who cares i wanna sleep now.

Sigh.

2009-06-12T00:08:00.001+08:00

It's getting further and further. I guess I am about it lost it. It was suppose to be okay though, but yeah, no.

Good thing there was a whole new box of Carlsberg. Beer is your best friend, really. It's always there when you ran out of friends to talk to.

This is killing me

2009-06-11T02:44:00.000+08:00

Seriously, how do you read this? O_o

http://www.scientificpsychic.com/mind/eyepuzzle1.html

Shapes:Hole

2009-06-04T11:27:00.000+08:00

Saw this 'trick' question the other day on the bulletin board outside my lecturer's office.

Couldn't solve it on the spot so I took a picture of it with my cell phone and brought the question back to my room.

Solved it after around 30 minutes. This question might be obvious to some people, upon solving it I realised how dumb I was. xP

Replicated this question on flash and print-screen-ed it.

If the question's still unclear, state why there's a hole in the second picture made out of the same shapes of the same size from the first picture.

[Scroll down for answer]

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Spoiler Warning

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The answer to the question on top

First, lets do some calculations on the volume of the smaller shapes.

By adding up all the values, 12+7+8+5, you get 32.

Now, lets calculate the area of the large "triangle".

13*5/2 = 32.5

Wait, that's strange. Where did the 0.5 go?

[EXPLAINATION]

The shape made out of the shapes in the first picture wasn't a triangle. It is a quadrilateral, a four-sided polygon. The 'hypotenuse'(see below:the line ABC) wasn't even a straight line.

By using arch tangent, you can find the angle of the smaller triangles. upon doing this, you can see that line ABC wasn't a straight line at all. It has an angle of 69.44°+90°+21.8°, which equates to 181.24°, at point B, enough to trick our eye into assuming it was straight. The angle tells us that it bends slightly inwards. This makes the addition of the volume of the shapes lesser than the actual volume of a 13x5 triangle. If you draw a perfect straight line from A to B, ABC is a triangle with a volume of 0.5 unit square.

In the second picture, the one with the 'hole', those two smaller triangle shape switched locations. The line ABC now bends outwards, causing it to have 0.5 unit square more volume than an actual 13x5 triangle. The difference between the first and second picture widens to 1 unit square since the first shape's volume is 0.5 unit square less than the actual triangle. The 'hole'(which has a volume of 1 unit square) is magically there to compansate for the change of volume.

Generally, this question tricks the eye into believing that the whole picture is a triangle, especially to assume the 'hypotenuse' to be a straight line. The moral of the story is, don't trust your eyes easily.

Searched up the internet for the answer as I figured that I am not good at explaining. So here is it.

http://www.scientificpsychic.com/mind/triangle1.html

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Spoiler Warning

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[Scroll up for answer]